This is 40

So… This is 40!

When I was about 12 or so I came across a horoscope for Capricorn which said something along the lines of "when a Capricorn woman turns 40 she can finally exhale because she's done all the hard stuff already." At dinner the other night my father said "it's funny to think of you turning 40 as a big deal because I kind of think that you've been 40 since you were about 17". Actually I think we both said 17 at the same time. It's strange, despite the fact that I had some pretty troubling times in my youth I seemed to have rebelled by being ultra responsible and hard-working - albeit in quite untraditional ways!!

So here I am at 40. I live in the same town that I was born in - though I did leave for 32 years. I'm a high school drop out - but I've been a DJ, run nightclubs and restaurants, assembled prescriptions in a Chinese medicinal herb shop, I've sold haircuts on street corners, I worked in health food shops, I've had tea with the Queen, I've been a music and sound consultant, I've filmed legal depositions in Paris regarding the ownership of the Empire State Building, I've been written about in over 20 publications, I've worked for Helen and Martin Scorsese, I've sold over $100 million dollars of NYC real estate, I've bussed tables, been a bartender, struggled, excelled, been healthy, been unhealthy, been overweight, been underweight, found amazing friendships, lost childhood friends, I'm insecure, I'm nervous, I'm loved, I'm supported - I'm 40